God's Purpose Of Marriage

It is discouraging to see so many marriages that are in turmoil these days, and it is especially frustrating to see them end up as messy divorces.

Without knowing the purpose of marriage, we will likely misuse or abuse it. Anytime anything is used wrongly or contrary to its intended use, we have frustrated the purpose for which it was intended and therefore misused it.

Before we discuss what the purpose of marriage is, lets talk about a couple reasons NOT to get married. You should not get married "To Be Happy". People, places and things cannot make you happy. Only a relationship with God will do that.

Another reason NOT to get married is to "Escape Problems". If you get married to escape problems, you are just creating more problems. As an example, a young girl says she wants to get married to get out from under her parents authority, especially her dad's. If she will rebel against her dad's authority, what makes you think she won't rebel against yours?

Now, why did God create and ordain marriage between one man and one woman? Lets discuss 5 biblical purposes God created marriage.

1. To Avoid Fornication. (I Corinthians 7:2) "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." Marriage is the arena by which God ordains that we express our sexuality.

2. Procreation And Rearing Functional Children. Morality must start at home. It is in our homes our children should be learning about the values of life. Parents should be teaching them about authority, about accountability, how to become functional members of the church and society.

3. To Serve And Love Another. Another purpose of marriage is for you to serve another. (I Corinthians 7:32-34) says that a single man or woman cares for the things of the Lord so that they may please the Lord, but the man and woman that is married, must care for the things of the world to please their mate.

4. For Two To Become One. Female, according to (Genesis 2), came out of male. Eve came out of Adam. And God brought them back together and made them one, in marriage; male and female.

5. Husbands And Wives Are As Christ And The Church. The home is a reflection of Christ and the Church. That's why it is supposed to have a male and female, a husband and wife. We are the bride of Jesus and he is our husband. The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church.

Learning and understanding God's purpose of marriage will have a profound affect on your marriage. Stronger marriages lead to stronger families whereby producing functional, God fearing children who will pass on their Godly values to their children.

Work To Improve Your Relationship

Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. Do some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? It sure seems so.

Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships. These are just a few ways you can work to improve your relationship.

1. REFRESH – Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them. (not literally, of course!)

2. DATES – Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game.

3. FUN – Couples tend to have fun on dates, then get married and become too serious. Lighten up! Head to an Internet game site and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent a game player and some games.

4. FORGET – No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

5. SPACE – Give each other some space. Either you trust each other or you don’t. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

6. DISAGREE – Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease each other. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

7. MEMORIES – Make some great ones together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps and work to improve your relationship and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationships.

Improving relationships require knowing what to do and how to do it. If you follow some tried and true tips, it is possible you can also improve your relationships.

Clues You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a dangerous relationship? See if any of these sound familiar:

1. Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
2. Your partner says they love you, their actions don't show it
3. Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or following you
4. Your partner tries to make you dependent on them
5. You have changed to please them

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle. You have a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at that point the cycle begins all over.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in that honeymoon stage. It is not until you are drawn in further you realize that you are in a hostile relationship. Now it is difficult to get out.

Usually people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing what they are doing. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the offensive partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
Others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that you can salvage most relationships. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you have to be willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, your problems will never be solved.

Once you have detached yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Refrain from nagging the other person. Say to them;“I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands. You can find a more detailed plan to solving toxic relationships in my favorite book, The magic Of making Up.

Restoring Trust In Relationships After An Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you have cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. I disagree as I believe that every relationship is fixable if both parties really want to work on it.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with increasing the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude that caused you to stray. There may be something deep in your relationship that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex monotonous? Were they always too busy for you? Did they just not spend enough time on their grooming?

You certainly would not have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in your relationship together.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into relationship counseling. It is definitely a time to study God's principles on any relationship.

But just understanding our thoughts is not enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems. The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it and, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your spouse or significant other is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to have to apologize more than once over time. It is not easy for them to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with them, you will be patient with that person.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow them to constantly guilt trip you, they will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in relationships take time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result. These are just a few beginning steps to restoring trust in relationships as is detailed in the book "The Magic Of Making Up".