Love Is Saying You're Sorry When Wrong

For some reason we don't like to say it, we don't always mean it and when we do think of it, it's never often enough. We seem to be a society that finds it hard to admit our faults, even when we ARE wrong. Love is saying you're sorry and from the heart.

Is says something about society in general when we question the need to apologize even in our closest relationships? If saying sorry exposes us to confrontation or scrutiny, shouldn't we be willing to accept that from our loved ones?

If people feel that saying they are sorry diminishes the respect they receive from others, or brings their judgment (and their intelligence) into question - what kind of people CAN apologize freely?

Perhaps the answer lies deeper than a person's perception of how they'll be viewed. What are the reasons for apologies?

Dr. Aaron Lazare tells his thoughts on the motives for apologies in an article entitled, 'Go Ahead, Say Your Sorry', published by Psychology Today. He indicates two positive reasons we apologize include, the desire to restore or salvage a relationship or diminish the pain you've caused someone.

The less admirable reasons for an apology he indicates include the desire to escape punishment or the need to clear a guilty conscience - whether the other party was offended or not.

Clearly the first two positive reasons for apologizing goes a long way towards creating happy, healthy relationships. Whether we are brought up to believe in admitting our guilt or not, taking a humble view of ourselves in order to benefit a relationship or an individual whom we've hurt is critical in maintaining respect for each other.

While some individuals may not require apologies from their partners, there is a certain loss of respect between the couple when one is not offered. The hurt partner has not gotten their pain acknowledged by the one they love. The offender now lives with the guilt or may start to believe their partner is not worthy of such acknowledgment.

In either case, the relationship suffers. On the other hand, frequent offenders may do too much apologizing. Their constant display of a guilty conscience forces the hurt partner to accept behavior that they should be questioning or challenging. Why can't we see that love is saying you're sorry when you're wrong?

Accepting each other, through bad times and good, is a big part of a loving and enjoyable relationship. Not making note of our mate's mistakes or judging each others weaknesses certainly has its place. But if you are willing to apologize for your lack of responsibility or good judgment; this will strengthen, rather than weaken, the bonds of a healthy relationship.

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?

Are you feeling like everything you do, makes your ex turn the other away? Does this describe your situation to a tee? Are you thinking "How can I get my ex boyfriend back" every waking minute?

Obviously, right now, you desperately want to save or rekindle your relationship, and that is how you found this article in the first place. If you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back, you are probably behaving in the wrong way, causing your ex to turn away naturally. It is human nature to resist this kind of pressure. Fighting human nature is completely the wrong tactic, and will only make matters continue down the negative road.

If you are calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails, text messaging him or trying to make him feel sorry for you, you need to stop! If you are continually asking yourself "How can I get my ex boyfriend back", then you need to stop doing these things right now.

So What do you do to get your ex boyfriend back? Follow this strategy instead, which is one of many outlined in the book The Magic Of Making Up.

You need to take a completely different approach. Starting with breaking off contact for a while, and doing your own thing. This is going to be a very tough time, and it will require discipline to prevent you from reverting to your old ways.

During this period, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You will become a mystery to him, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now you got your ex in a position to actually miss you, since you are not smothering him.

You have to remember the key to this strategy of repairing a break up is to work with human nature and avoid letting your emotions take over. Now if you are asking "How can I get my ex boyfriend back", you should have a good understanding on what common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this strategy you can work to restore a balance allowing your ex to think about why he loved you to begin with.

Just keep yourself focused and do not smother him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will remember why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (of course don't over do it) and wait for him to make the first move, and you will come out reaching your goal. Then you can stop asking, "How can I get my ex boyfriend back?"

Secret To Make Your Ex Return Your Call

Are there 'magic' words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?...

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get from the over 35,000 subscribers just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together. So I am going to answer..."How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"

BUT...WARNING!

In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay out a complete strategy.

The Magic Of Making Up

If you use this technique alone, without an 'overall' plan or strategy...you may damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

What NOT to Say!

Before we get into the actual words, let's go over what message almost NEVER works, and worse...Puts you in an AWFUL 'psychological' position. These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD - Where the message sounds like: "John, please, please call me. This is the 3rdtime I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

And the EMERGENCY - "Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?

So, I won't go on and on...

How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are Curiosity & Self Interest, And here's the BIG SECRET! When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work 'magic'

So...

Let's look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone: "Hi John. It's Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person." Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now...

Before you call you need to do the "Set Up"...which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate. It can be any small thing...but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly...2nd WARNING!

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out in the Magic Of Making Up System BEFORE you call.

The Magic Of Making Up

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly. Okay?

What I am saying is...

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense? Have a PLAN!

By T. Dub: The author of The Magic Of Making Up