Restoring Trust In Relationships After An Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you have cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. I disagree as I believe that every relationship is fixable if both parties really want to work on it.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with increasing the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude that caused you to stray. There may be something deep in your relationship that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex monotonous? Were they always too busy for you? Did they just not spend enough time on their grooming?

You certainly would not have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in your relationship together.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into relationship counseling. It is definitely a time to study God's principles on any relationship.

But just understanding our thoughts is not enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems. The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it and, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your spouse or significant other is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to have to apologize more than once over time. It is not easy for them to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with them, you will be patient with that person.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow them to constantly guilt trip you, they will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in relationships take time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result. These are just a few beginning steps to restoring trust in relationships as is detailed in the book "The Magic Of Making Up".